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QBasic on Angelfire Humor Page
This list was originally written / compiled by Cyberion of QBasic on Angelfire.


This will be a section of my page with humorous things dealing with QBasic. Quotes, humorous happenings, etc would be a few examples (etc is a bit broad, but that's the point).

1)When working on your page, instead of going to view it do you find yourself pressing F5?

2)"640k should be enough for anyone." -Bill Gates. What was he thinking? Was he thinking?

3)"Where can I get QB4.5 or PDS7.1" -Quote taken from just about everyone's e-mail.

4)Patience is a virtue, a virtue I lack -Cybertron Not completely, considering that I program in QB, but pretty close

5)IBM-I Blame Microsoft

6)"Hey, did you hear about the guy who made QB mouse based? Yeah, he called it Visual Basic and made a fortune." -Thanks to Cheric0ke@aol.com for this one.

7)"I am DarkDread" -DarkDread a.k.a. Cybertron

8)No, I am not DarkDread. Yes I am. No I'm not. I seem to be having a personality conflict with myself.

9)You know you've been programming in QB for too long when you start to format your papers for school like your programs.

10)You also know you've been programming in QB for too long when you have at least 10 'in progress' RPG's

11)Never mind, if you have 10 'in progress' RPG's, you shouldn't be programming at all(it ain't that hard to finish one, is it? Maybe.)

12)You know you program in QBasic
too long when you see a blue screen
everywhere you look. -Thanks to GuardianBob for this one.

13)KSFO 560! -If anyone gets this one, please explain it to me.

14)You know you've been programming in QB too long when you write PRINT before every line of your e-mails and in chats. I do this sometimes. -Thanks to

15)Future Microsoft Slogan: Microsoft- Where did you want to go yesterday?

16)Windows 2050- It will be stable, we "promise". Empty promises, empty promises.

17)Well, I guess that depends on what your definition of "is" is. -Bill GatesI suppose it all depends on your definition of monopoly too, right?

18)You know you have been programming for too long when you are playing guitar and you keep saying SOUND. -Thanks to Danrulez@hotmail.com for this one.

The Tale of NeoZones
Once upon a midnight dreary
Neo, (whose name is rather queer-y),
Teamed up with some dork named Zones
The only word that rhymes is bones

Zones was somewhat of a myst'ry
And soon that fag was ancient hist'ry
So Neo told him "Go to hell"
when Geocities was it's URL

Some time later, Neo became Tek
All us dumbasses said "what the heck?"
The quickbasic.com was bought by ChUcK
All us dumbasses said "what the fuck?"

So now NZ's got a new address
About this time I started wearing a dress
but that is neither here nor there
because you probably don't care

About this time, Marcade appeared
I used to think he was kinda weird
Marcade would eventually agree
to host quickbasic.com, totally free! (woo)

ChUcK was happy as an asian lass
and Tek had a URL that kicked ass
But they'd agree sometime later
that Marcade was being a cruel Dick-tator (not my words)

So Spacehog took over hosting
(they thought it'd give Marc a good roasting)
But spacehog's server really sucked :(
so NeoZones was really fucked

So once again Marcade appeared
(I still thought he was pretty weird)
And bought THIS domain for Tekky's use
in spite of any past abuse

But I guess, to Marcade's chagrin
Tek wasn't int'rested in
his own domain for neozones
Hold on I have to answer the phones (I have 3)

So Marcade made this place "NeoBasic"
I dare you to find a word that rhymes with Basic
So NeoZones, this isn't quite
Even though the address is right

So the REAL NZ is flirting with doom
On some other server in Marcade's Dad's room
Tek.Zext.Net is it
And to that I say "ironic shit!"

I can't believe I just pulled that out of my ass.
I can't either! -Cybertron
It's all true too!
-Thanks to MagnaUnum(I think) for this one.

20)There once was a guy who said: "I want to someday write words so powerful that they make people scream and wail and cry." He now works for Microsoft writing Windows error messages. I read this one in Reader's Digest.

21)Counting in binary is as easy as 01, 10, 11. Saw this one on Secret Weapon Software, submitted by coolsig. Whew, ran out of breath giving the credits on that one.

22)"What? Out of memory? I only used 10 meg subs!" - Newbie Thanks to Danrulez@angelfire.com for this one.

Note on 23 and 24: Saw both of these on NeoBasic's quote page. It is very entertaining, I suggest you read it.

23)How many operating systems does it take to execute a program? Five, four to hold it down and one to cut off its head.

24)How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, it's a hardware problem.
brazilsoccerrule@hotmail.com for this one
Posted by Pete on July 31, 2004.

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