|Fun things to do with your roommate's computer|
It's an unavoidable fact: living with the same individual in the same room for one month is not one month of bliss. Occasionally, roommates are at odds with each other. When this happens, there are a few things you could do...
Using a simple screen capture program, get an image of his / her computer's desktop with start bar, icons, and all. Then, set the new desktop wallpaper as the image you just created. Next, move all his / her icons off of one side of the screen. Now, the computer functions as it normally would, except clicking on any of the icons has no effect.
For some real fun, use the above procedure to get a screen shot, then use QB to write a program which loads this image back in and sits in an infinite DO...LOOP. Place this program in the "Start Up" folder in Windows so it runs every time the computer boots up.
For added entertainment, write a simple routine that draws a dialog box similar to the ones in Windows and integrate it with the above two procedures so that when the roommate presses a key or clicks the mouse, a dialog box pops up with a scary message of some sort (i.e. Hard drive will be deleted...)
Replace the Windows start up sound with "Good evening, Dave" from 2001: A Space Odyssey's HAL 9000 computer.
Go into desktop properties and change the refresh rate on the monitor of his / her computer to a very low number.
Hide the computer tower and when your roommate inquires as to its whereabouts reply causally, "Oh that old thing? Oh I thought it was just an empty box, I ah..."
Change his / her screen name on every Instant Messaging program he / she is a member of to "FoxyLady69" if male or "Hunk69" if female.
Smirk apparently uncontrollably every time you roommate puts in a floppy disk. Refuse to reveal why.
Ask computer illiterate questions of your roommate such as, "Will Word just alter a few of the words from this article I downloaded so it doesn't look copyrighted?" and, while tapping the CD-ROM drive door, "That's odd, my cup holder has stopped working."
Acquire a NetBus or equivalent virus and install it on your roommate's computer to allow you remote access to his / her computer from your machine. Occasionally reverse the mouse buttons or eject the CD-ROM door while he / she is working.
Occasionally complain that, "They've" hacked your machine again.
Using QuickBASIC, write a simple program that will prompt for commands but constantly return the same phrase, such as "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that." Place this program in the AUTOEXEC.BAT file so that it will run before anything else when the computer is booted.
Whenever walking by his / her computer, shield your eyes from the monitor. Refuse to discuss this behavior.
Learn the html trick of auto-spawning web pages and use it to fill your roommate's computer with non-closable porno pages.
Redo some of the spike bars in your room so that so of your roommate's computer equipment is on your spike bar. When you shut down your machine, perhaps his / her monitor will go along with the printer.
Laugh hysterically whenever your roommate asks you a computer related question. Refuse to dignify such ignorance with a response.
Yell violently at your computer whenever a dialog box pops up. Follow each rant with "(Dialog message) ? I'll show you a (Dialog message)!!"
Make it a habit to be near your roommate's computer whenever he / she enters the room. Run quickly away and begin doing something else, then act surprised to see the roommate as if you just noticed him / her. Refuse to have knowledge of such incidents.
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© Copyright 2000 by Timothy D. Mowrer for Secret Weapon Software.