an Interview with Wafn June
27, 2001 by Skarab
lots of people alledgedly hate Wafn. i
couldn't resist. and everyone knows i am the greatest interviewer on the
planet.
[Skarab] are you in fact Wafn? [Wafn]
yes.
[Skarab] are you a programmer? [Wafn] technically, I
guess. I know the languages, I just don't do anything with
them.
[Skarab] what are your favorite languages? [Wafn]
perl. quickbasic. .. perl.
[Skarab] how long have you been coding
QB? [Wafn] since late 1995, off and on
[Skarab] are you
active in the "qb community" or the "qb scene" or whatever they call
it? [Wafn] you could say that I'm active in the underground qb
scene, yeah. I try to stay away from the newbie-infested popular areas
though. they scare me.
[Skarab] is neozones
underground? [Wafn] not anymore
[Skarab] what do you
think of tek? [Wafn] he used to host my page (and still does,
now that I think about it), so I have to be nice about him. I'd say the
same thing anyway, though - he's extremely helpful, but impossible to get
ahold of.
[Skarab] what do you think of
Nekrophidius? [Wafn] as a programmer? he's got some great game
ideas, and the knowledge to make them come to fruitation. as a person?
we've had too many fights for me to be able to answer that
honestly.
[Skarab] so you've been flinging crap? [Wafn]
yep.
[Skarab] do you think the crap hurts a sensitive person like
him more than it hurts you? [Wafn] perhaps, at first, but he's
pretty resilient and forgiving. I tend to hold grudges, whereas he often
says 'water under the bridge' to me. I dunno.
[Skarab] do you think
he'd have a hard time washing the crap out of his hair, or wiping it off
that part of the back it's impossible to reach? [Wafn] that
kinda depends on whether or not his wife is scared to help
[Skarab]
which way do you wipe? front to back or back to front? [Wafn]
front to back.
[Skarab] do you check the paper to make sure you're
clean? [Wafn] no - though I sometimes check my fingers to make
sure it didn't get there
[Skarab] do you smell them? and how do
blind people know when they're clean? [Wafn] no, I don't smell
them, I have a lot of faith in my eyesight. as to how blind people know..
I'd say they just take a shower right away, and hope everything is nice
and tidy afterwards.
[Skarab] let's say i smell my fingers and get
some on the tip of my nose, should i take the time to wash it
off? [Wafn] it would probably be better for other people, but if
you don't mind it, you shouldn't let the judgement of others force you to
do something you don't want to.
[Skarab] do you think it's
important to, in the shower, scrub between the cheeks? and is it conceited
and self-centered to wash the tip of your nose after you get poop on
it? [Wafn] sure. paper can never get everything, especially if
you're hair in that area. and no, it is not conceited to wash poop from
your nose, simply better for your eyes. [Wafn] I get annoyed
when I see things on my nose that shouldn't be there. [Wafn]
unless you think poop should be there..
[Skarab] would you tell
Nekrophidius if he had crap on the tip of his nose, or would you laugh in
private? [Wafn] I'd probably laugh to myself, then gesture to my
nose every few minutes to give him hints. I don't think I'd tell him
outright though.
[Skarab] to save him
embarassment? [Wafn] to keep my lunch in my body long enough
that I can have my own poop.
[Skarab] thank you for your
exhilarating interview, i am deeply grateful. your presence is downright
exfoliating. [Wafn] who ARE you.
[Skarab] my wrists are
bleeding
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